This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
