Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
