So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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