Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
