He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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