I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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