if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize