Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
