I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
