girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
