Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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