READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
