I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
