you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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