Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
