he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
as a side note pls kill me
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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