you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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