Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
