Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
