she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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