she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
