you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
