i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We have so much sex to catch up on
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
