Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
