somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize