A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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