i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
