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• (530): View more from California

  We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time

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• (347): View more from New York

  his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.

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• (510): View more from California

  So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.

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