I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Can I color on your dick again?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
