I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
