Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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