I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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