I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize