who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
