Got a toothbrush?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
its liver damage thursday
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize