so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
