Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
