3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
My boob is missing a layer of skin
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
