She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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