This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
