You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize