ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
