found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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