I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
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