Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
