I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
