yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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