I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
