If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
