You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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