I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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