She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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