I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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