Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
