This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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