Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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