"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Terrible idea I love it
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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