C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
