I can tuck mytits in my pants
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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