No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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