Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
