Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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