The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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