I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
