Pappa wants mamma naked
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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