I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
