youre lurking in front of me
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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