Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
