Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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