3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
