oh god the rape fog is back!
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
