we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
