all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
