were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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