She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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