Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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