So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
