What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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