I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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