i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
