dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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