That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
