is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
