the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
